Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
The pandemic has brought with it various problems and challenges, forcing people to find different solutions based on the impact it's had on them. If there is one good thing that's come out of this though, then it's that I feel like we've connected more than ever before by sharing the ways in which we are coping, showing solidarity, giving donations, and complaining about the politicians whose fault it is that we need to fundraise in the first place. After weeks of shares, retweets and posts, it's starting to look like we've created some kind of quarantine routine and culture, in which we tell each other how to best spend our time. All of the tweets, Facebook posts and Instagram stories have made me wonder: Am I even quarantining right? In order to eliminate my self-doubt, I decided to create a checklist on how to quarantine properly besides the obvious bread making and becoming a plant parent.
Keep up an irregular sleep cycle and complain about it online
Now that our outdoor activities are limited to food shopping and giving people not socially distancing the evils, it should be pretty easy for us to finally find our natural sleep rhythm again. Unless you've got a specific WFH schedule, it's likely that you're not reliant on a 7 am alarm with five snoozes anymore, which used to help you get up on time before pretending not to be tired and hungover after an unpredictably long round of after work drinks. For some reason though, we're still suffering just as much as before because, I guess, Netflix exists, quarantine hasn't made self-control and discipline any easier, and time doesn't really feel real right now anyway. The least you can do is go ahead and complain about it in solidarity with everyone else.
Complain about people who do Instagram challenges, TikToks or any other lockdown related activity because they're clearly beneath you
Making complaining a new hobby seems like a pretty natural response judging our current situation, so here's another one. This one goes a little deeper though. As our egos are deprived of validation during isolation, adopt this new superiority complex by complaining about people who have found a creative outlet during this crisis to put yourself right back on that high horse! How dare people find ways to cope AND use their time trying new things they enjoy? Put on your cringe police sirens and bully anyone and anything that does literally zero harm just for the sake of proving how much cooler you are. Maybe hold them to a ridiculous standard too to really emphasise your superiority. Let someone give you the number to a therapist when you start feeling bad though.
Tell at least one person to utilise this time to be productive, or alternatively that it's OK to just do the bare minimum like breathing
It's surprisingly hard not to turn into a self-help guru when we're all encouraged to share our experiences online. Especially now that we're sort of in the same boat as many other people, it's become quite cathartic to share what we do and compare it with others. Social media has in many ways become a part of our limited outlet for social stimulation. But of course we don't just care about what others are doing but also how they're doing. And of course we're not in the position to tell anyone how to deal with their own things, but decide to do it anyway. After all, this is the internet. The same place that told people to eat Tide pods or campaign against life saving vaccines. Because at the end of the day, I guess we do believe we know what's best for us and it's really hard to shut up about it (exhibit A: a month of this blog).
Buy a yoga mat
If lockdown has proved anything at all, it's that we're all stubborn teenagers who will only exercise or do something that's actually good for us through reverse psychology. Oh, what's that? We're now allowed only one exercise a day? That's one more exercise than we would usually take advantage of, but then again, no one asked us when we wanted to do, let's say, an outrageous amount of two outdoor exercises a day. That shit used to be legal. Now that we're not allowed to exercise as much as we never wanted to in the first place, I guess we just have to exercise, right? Seems like the correct logic to me. Better buy that yoga mat for all the additional exercises that I'll have to do indoors from now on.
Awkwardly hang up on an online hangout because you've literally got no good excuse to leave
All this complaining and exercising can become pretty exhausting, so it's likely you won't have any stamina left to talk for hours on end when there's not really anything new to report. There's only so many times we can talk about the TV shows that keep us going, or the evolution of politics turning into a global satirical comedy. Making plans for when all this is over seems absurd and rushed, with days and nights just bleeding into each other like they're all and the same. Because we're pretty bad about being honest about our needs, come up with a bad excuse for when you're ready to hang up because of the all too familiar Facetime fatigue only those who are lying aren't experiencing. Say that you're about to make your second dinner of the day. You got yourself a snake and it needs feeding. Pretend you've got another online call lined up because your social life is clearly just as rich as it was pre-quarantine. Just find anything urgent you need to do in order to hang up, continue watching the Netflix show you annoyingly had to pause, and have a drink for making it through another day of quarantine.
Donate £5 to a good cause (preferably this one)
I know that giving a fiver to support a project you only have to minimally engage with can feel just as helpful as giving spare change to a homeless person before walking away. However, after years of complaining (yup here we go again) about politicians not doing their job right, it's time we clean clean up the mess, or even better: prevent some of it. Especially now that this crisis has exposed so many sectors that have been systemically overlooked or willingly underfunded, it's a good opportunity for us to keep the spotlight on those subjects. We might not be able to riot and demand better care and services for homeless people, the elderly, disabled, people relying on benefits and social care, migrants or so many more, but at least we can make use of our current collective spirit and give the cost of that coffee to someone who can't make that choice themselves. Anyways, back to repeating my less helpful checklist. PSA over (for now).