Photo by Element5 Digital on Unsplash
When I asked people online what scares them the most about the idea of going back to 'normal' (that state obviously being heavily contested in the first place), the answers ranged from the horror of shaking a creepy old man's hand in the pub perhaps for a little too long, and the worry that lockdown hasn't changed anyone's attitudes for the better. Being stuck inside has made many of us appreciate all the things we took for granted before, such as the ability to travel or arriving at work hungover after a weekday night of drinks. But many have doubts about whether people will actually change for the better after this experience, whether that's tipping your delivery driver and anyone working in customer service, or perhaps voting for a government that doesn't compromise people's safety for the sake of the "economy". For those of us who don't have a chance to simply move to a country where people's welfare is taken seriously, we have to think about how we can change our own everyday conduct in an attempt to improve our post-quarantine world. 'Going back to normal' has a nice ring to it, sure, but maybe we shouldn't because, let's face it, it kind of sucked. Here's to a new, post-quarantine etiquette. This one is looking at travelling.
I've got a feeling that airlines are already warming up and training for new ways to scam us into buying only seemingly cheap tickets when all this is over. As many people will try to make up for the holiday they didn't get this summer, prepare yourself for fully packed planes and journeys more stressful than ever before. Perhaps we can make the process a little less unbearable by resisting the urge to get up from our seat a split second after the machine has landed, followed by an awkward couple of minutes where everyone tries very hard not to stare at the person who's rubbing against them. While everyone is getting into the starting position of someone wanting to enter a shop on a Black Friday sale, maybe just sit this one race out and focus on the things that matter, like, I don't know, not being an arsehole by trying to get out before everyone else. Imagine if we could all exit the plane in the motion of a zipper being unzipped. Everyone parts their way in pairs, smoothly followed by the next one. Just thinking about it gives me butterflies.
Tube rides, especially during rush hour, lack the kind of social distancing I think I will miss when this is over. But with everyone constantly on the move again, we will have no choice but to adapt. Just like with being considerate towards others on an airplane, similar rules apply to being stuck inside a tube packed with five times the amount of people it's supposed to accommodate for. Enable the most effective sardine-esque method by looking behind you to check if you can still back up a little to make space for others, and for the love of God, please do yourself and others a favour by just taking off your backpack when you get on. If there is a heaven taking count of some sort of brownie points, this will surely get you a few.
There is so much that could be said about night travel, but I've only got one request: Don't start a fight on a night bus. I mean, don't ever start a fight anywhere, but if you have to get out your aggression or blow off some testosterone or alcohol fueled steam, please spare people driving night buses and those on it, who probably just want to get back home from a ridiculously long shift or throw up anywhere but on the person next to them. Chances are that people who are forced to use the night bus are already screwed anyway because they didn't make their train or can't afford an Uber, and live in an area that's completely deprived of well connected transport. To the person who tried to glass someone with a beer bottle and accidentally ended up cutting himself instead when I tried to get from Waterloo to Croydon at 3 am: Just take a walk next time, OK?
There is no denying that I have definitely been all of those people myself (except from the last one as I find fighting a bit silly), but after a few months of reflection, and embarrassing memories either haunting me in bright daylight or torturing me in my dreams, I figured it's time to check myself and decide to change. As much as I have no idea how I will socialise with people again when handshakes and hugs stop being illegal, I can at least think about how we can travel better when we're finally allowed to do so again.
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