Whether it’s your pre-lockdown crush, freshly acquired Tinder match or simply your mates peer-pressuring you into meeting up with them, it can be tempting to give in so you don’t look like the nerd who cares about not risking to kill more people during a literal pandemic. Little white lies to get out of social commitments seem to be more important than ever before, so here’s a list of excuses you can use for when someone is trying to force you to break the lockdown rules:
You need to go hunting for mice to feed your pet snake
You’re busy building a tunnel so you can meet your quarantine sex buddy without being caught
You’re busy having sex with said sex buddy
You ordered a viji board on Amazon the other day and your exorcist arrives at the same time as the start of the BBQ
You’ve finally decided to read Pride and Prejudice and are afraid you’re never going to finish it unless you read it in one sitting
You’re too busy tending to all the new plants you acquired during lockdown and apparently still don’t find the time to water
Your family has arranged an online meetup and the BBQ will be over by the time you’ve managed to say goodbye for the thousandth time
You don’t want to run the risk of being the seventh person to the government’s six person rule and live with the guilt of having killed all your mates
You’ve just turned vegan and threaten to hold a eulogy for all animals that were murdered to make the BBQ possible if you’re invited
You’ve caught the virus