The probably oldest as well as most frequent advice we've received in our lives is to stop worrying and simply start being ourselves. Even before society's fetishism of self-development and perfectionism, none of us could escape from the inevitable act to think about who we should or want to be. There was expectations to meet, goals to reach and pressure to handle, which came from a well meaning family member who would tell us that we can be anything we want to be. Ever since this notorious, delusional line was dropped for the first time, we started to believe in a sky with no limits, the only thing stopping us from reaching space being ourselves. Of course we wouldn't take life being unpredictable and dick-ish into the equation, as well as the fact that fate is completely and utterly indifferent to our prosperity and success. Every negative outcome we couldn't control seemed like nothing else but a sign of our inability to try harder. Suddenly, when we compared ourselves to others, there was always someone smarter, prettier, funnier or overall more adequate than us. Through pop culture and advertisements we were constantly being told that there's something wrong with us, and that there's certain methods and products for a certain price that could help us fix exactly what makes us who we are. Since we live in a society that lives according to codes made by the same people that created illusions such as flawlessness and idealism in the first place, we are doomed to live our lives in denial of who we really desire to be; a naturally developed self, who lives according to what fulfills him, instead of trying to chase an ideal self that doesn't exist.
I remember exactly what catalysed my inescapable self-consciousness. It all began when I started school and suddenly learned about our society's competitiveness, teaching me that we'd all have to live our lives restlessly as long as there was something bigger and better in front of us. Personal contentment was a luxury only the defeated could enjoy. I believe that the ultimate need to compare ourselves to others in order to see where we stand was a result of being told that we went through years of education for no one else but ourselves and our potential success. Hours of sucking up information like a swamp only to drain it again in exchange for an acceptable grade became a natural part of our routine, with the convincing, and only encouraging thought in mind that there was a reward waiting for us in the future. The issue with that, of course, is that we were never told to be our true selves or to evolve according to our own principles and ideals. Behind this facade we were forced to become someone other people than ourselves decided to be best for society. It was a lie we were told to become fabricated human resources custom made for a system that we didn't build ourselves. There was a limited amount of freedom and opportunities to develop our individualism, and most of us lost parts of ourselves in the process too, making it even harder to start developing independently when some of us eventually understood the importance of it.
This is why I have come to the conclusion that the real translation of "just be yourself" really means "just be the best self we will benefit from". In a world with so many guidelines telling us how to behave, look, and even think, it seems obvious that no one really wants us to be ourselves. In fact, people couldn't care less about who it is that you really are. They'd rather experience the entertaining, performing version of yourself than to get a reality check on how we're all just lying idiots trying not to be judged for showing our true colours. This apathetic attitude towards the truth of the self might not only come from society's indoctrination, but perhaps also because of our need for protection and being relieved of the burden to think and act independently. Looking at the bigger picture, it seems fair to assume that a system works more efficiently when everyone is the same or fairly similar. It means we can all adapt to the limited amount of rules and codes that lead us, instead of having to evaluate everything individually. We like to simplify plans and ideas, and as every critic knows, questioning everything can be quite exhausting. On the other hand, in a world where absolutely everyone is the same, everyone just turns into another ant working for a system no one benefits from other than those who managed to escape the wheel and became the ones steering it now. Those who see the power in stepping forward when everyone else shuffles from side to side, from one advertisement to the other, from one promising confidence building course to the next best performance enhancing super drug, those are the ones who hear their mother's words in their ears, telling them that "being yourself" can only possibly mean "being your best self", and then choose to do so without regards to whether it is their best, their worst or something in-between. Not because some potential success or benefit might come with it, but rather because they choose to be so unapologetically themselves, that they're not even quite sure of who that self is, and then decide to accept themselves anyway.
