As if it's not enough for summer to torture me by making me wear shorts and walk in the sun to get a foretaste of hell, I've now realised that it's also the season for PDA and, even worse, an excessive use of hearts and obnoxious amounts of emojies on couples' Instagram accounts. While everyone was freaking out about how 'Winter was coming', I had to get used to the fact that summer was here. What's sad about this is that I entered summer completely unprepared: I hadn't bought a lifetime supply of Ben & Jerry's yet and neither did I create a list of comedies and thrillers that would comfort me during this tough time consisting of self pity. I wasn't even entirely aware of how many friends of mine had actually become someone's SO, as if my subconscious was somehow trying to protect me from what was ahead of me. Who would've though that 90% of conversations during my first three weeks on holiday would consist of reminders of how single I was?
Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy for my friends to have found someone to binge-watch Netflix series with and lose themselves in, before loosing everything else beginning with their self-worth and friends, usually ending with an empty bank account and the five stages of grief (over the latter). What I am less happy about is the constant pressure of family, friends and unimportant acquaintances that shouldn't give a single sh*t about whether I've got someone to regularly sleep with or not. Why does everyone currently seem to believe that it's one of human kind's greatest achievements to get attached to someone who will post kissing selfies with me and buy me stuff I'll have to burn later when the inevitable happens? When I tell someone about an achievement I'm actually proud of, the last thing I want them to ask me is whether I've currently been on interviews for the job application of a person's 'Other Half'. And even more importantly, whether I've been seductive enough to make them believe I am a suitable candidate for the position, and different than the ones before me. Let's be real here- how can I even think of trying to seduce anyone when I'm still working hard on trying to impress myself? I gotta make priorities, man.
I get it, don't worry. You all just want what's best for me, and you show that you seem to believe I will be 'able to find someone some day', making it sound like that's the only important and essential task in my life. Then again, who can blame us for strongly believing in such a lie when that's our daily reminder through social media and publications with articles like 'What Guys are Looking for in Girls' and what 'Turns Him and Her on' in addition to an unhealthy obsession over Taylor Swift's love life. Again and again we're brainwashed into thinking that finding someone else to intensely and intimately spend time with is the only solution to a condition most humans owning emotions are familiar with: loneliness.
Just as a side note, I am, myself, a complete hypocrite because I, too, have fallen for this illusion. After weeks of getting reminded of how uncertain my future relationship status was, I did what every other sensible person would have done: I went on Tinder. So far I haven't found any alternative, healthy solutions to this common problem yet, that don't involve drowning yourself in work and watching pep talks about fourth wave feminists telling you that 'you don't need no man'. Because in reality, you kind of do, don't you? Finding someone who will show affection and comfort you, seems to be the easy way out of that hopeless dark hole of loneliness, right? Or is it perhaps so that this human condition is simply indicating that there's something else you're lacking in life? If you think about it as any other craving, it could just imply that you might not be fulfilled in other areas of your life. Are you regularly meeting your friends and breaking your monotone routines? Have you got a bigger goal you're working towards? Perhaps our desperate attempt to find that special someone is simply a sign that we're trying to run away from our real challenge of finding out what will help us create a happy and fulfilled life without depending on other people's validation and appreciation?
I'm sorry to break it to you, but you might have wasted five minutes of your life, because you won't find the cure to this cultural and social disease here. After all, I might be wrong and the ultimate goal in life is to find someone to marry unhappily, continued by refusing to get a divorce only to meet cultural and familial expectations. On the other hand, perhaps you will find someone and you both live happily ever after; who am I to know? As for me, I'll simply continue making myself believe life can be somewhat entertaining, while rebelling against the notion that it can't be without sharing it with someone else. Because currently, my life is like a rom-com without the rom, but with a lot of com, and you know what? I don't even mind to keep it that way. I don't even mind it at all.