It's been three years since I decided to go on exchange and binge-read almost every brochure about foreign exchange companies I could find in the small library we had at school, and the big one online (Google is quite impressive, I recommend you to try it one time). Two years ago, I started annoying my parents with my (back then called 'naïve and silly') idea about leaving one of the most peaceful countries with impressively high living standards, to go live in another country where I didn't even know what would expect me. Then finally, more than a year ago, I slowly started realising that it wasn't only just a dream, as Nelly would put it. Even though I had rung up the company, attended meetings and I even got the log-in password for the 'MyEF' page (which is basically just like an exclusive Facebook), it all still felt quite surreal to me. Even before my departure, I told people to tell everyone at my funeral that I'd had this "Final Destination |"-experience, where I knew the plane was going to crash, because I simply couldn't believe that this all was real until I'd actually set foot on British land.
Well, here I am, still alive and telling you about my ridiculous, but hopefully quite normal, feelings and thoughts during my pre-journey. Of course, there goes a lot more thought into the whole process, but I decided not to write a book yet (I've got stuff to do you see). If you want to read more about another exchange student's experience before her departure and during the past five months in the UK, I encourage you to read a blog about a lovely Norwegian (now Bournemouth) girl called Martine (it's a very instagrammable place, so better check out her pictures, too)
I still remember that I made myself read all kinds of horror stories about exchange years, which might have led to decreasing my expectations. Fortunately enough, by taking on the journey with a clear mind and hardly no expectations, I was given the chance to find out about obstacles, but also opportunities, myself, without the horrible post-honeymoon-disappointment. Now that I've spent almost half a year adjusting to a new environment, learning about British culture and actually living it, I hope I'm qualified enough to influence your hopes and thoughts on your own upcoming exchange year. Because as adventurous as it all seems, there are quite a few things that no one can tell you about before you leave. So hopefully, I can help you out a little bit. Without further ado, here are 5 things that you probably won't learn about until experiencing it yourself:
1. Not every British family is the same kind of British
This is the third year that my host family has taken on students for their exchange year. Having the advantage of living with someone this experienced can be quite helpful, especially when talking about rules at home and what obstacles they had to overcome in the previous years. By talking about what it has been like to live with foreign students, Tara and I weren't just able to understand the family and their values a little better, but also how we can learn from mistakes students before us have made. There are certain traditions and rules almost all British families have in common (and yes, one of them is drinking a hell of a lot of tea), but every family is still going to be different from another. Morals and rules at home aren't only influenced by the country's traditions and British values, but also dependent on what families have passed on to previous generations. This also applies to household chores, tea times and even swearing. There might be a few occasions where you'll make a mistake without even knowing it, but as soon as you notice that your host parents react negatively, don't hesitate to ask them about what's wrong. Especially when you're just about to get to know each other a little bit better, it's important to keep being open minded and to have open discussions on topics at home. Not everyone has the same definition of what's right and wrong, some might believe there is only one right way to do something, and since you're the guest, it is your responsibility to adapt. Having said that, if there is one universal rule that absolutely everyone lives by, then it's that you can never be too polite, and the magic words will always be: please and thank you.
2. "Only you can turn this into a great year" - so better start budgeting wisely
When deciding to go on exchange, you will attend meetings and receive information that is supposed to prepare you for the adventure ahead of you. Even though they will try to make you aware of all the challenges and obstacles you might face, they will mostly talk about the fun side of your adventure. Obviously, they want to make you excited enough to be able to actually look forward to the scary parts like leaving your country, friends, family and everything else that's familiar to you. There is nothing wrong with encouraging students to make this journey, and if you've already made up your mind to challenge yourself through an exchange, maybe this will be the missing last kick in the a*s you need.
However, as adventurous as it all sounds, it will not be for free. Traveling, attending events and going out with your new friends are usually points on everyone's bucket list. All of which will cost money, and trust me, it sucks to rely completely on your parents for transport and money. One thing you might want to do is setting up a budget (I used Excel) on your computer, and start keeping track of what you spend money on. Eventually, you will find out that cutting down on money that primarily goes to clothes and 'things you want because they don't have them in your home country', is something you'll have to do in order to attend the next trip to Cambridge with your friends. It does take some time to find out what your priorities are, but the more you get used to it, the better you'll become at adjusting your budget to your social life (plus that you will feel more like an adult when you show off your budget system to your parents).
3. Public transport is hella expensive
Besides all of the other responsibilities you'll have to bravely take on, getting from A to B without depending on your host family will be one of them. You can't expect your host parents to be your personal taxi driver throughout the whole year, so a good thing to do would be to research about student discounts regarding local transport. In the U.K. you can get different rail cards that give you pretty good discounts on train tickets, like the 16-25 rail card I bought at the beginning of the year (and you should, too). Part of it is obviously linked to the first point I made about budgeting, so you might set aside some money if you know you'll be visiting lots of new places especially in the beginning of your exchange year. Additionally, you might find out about transport possibilities where you can share the cost with friends you're traveling with. Don't worry, as difficult as it sounds - it all lays in the art of planning ahead, which I'm sure you will master like a champion after only a few weeks.
4. School work is not going to be easier
You might think that since you're a foreign student, teachers will adapt their expectations to your level of knowledge and language skills. Unfortunately, it's not that easy. You will be evaluated based on the same grading system, meaning that you have to achieve the necessary results to pass your classes. The grading system will vary depending on whether you'll go to sixth form or college, but no matter what you'll attend, you should be prepared to be as structured and organized in your work as you hopefully are at home. Even though it will be more challenging in another language, you will soon find out that you simultaneously improve your English skills without even primarily focusing on the language. Perhaps you could even host a revision session with your friends? Just be careful about not turning it into a slumber party including pizza, netflix and lots of procrastination (been there, done that).
5. Good things won't just come to you- go out and chase them
Even though moving to another country, having to adapt to a new environment and meeting people different from you is an adventure in itself, you still got to work on making it a positive experience. It's like when you go to a concert: yes, you know concerts are fun, but if you don't sing along to the lyrics or join the mosh pit, you won't get as much out of it as you could have. That's why it's always important to take initiative; not only in finding events to attend and fun things to do, but also when it comes to social contacts and bonds you try to establish with people. Everyone will be treated equally, and being a foreigner might give you the opportunity to talk about things others wouldn't be able to tell, but it doesn't give you the privilege of immediately being everyone's friend. It might sound harsh to say it that way, but there will be no welcome committee when you arrive, so get engaged and put effort in getting to know people.
If you're still reading this without feeling discouraged or doubting your decision to go on exchange then congratulations! You have an amazing year ahead of you, and no matter how many ups and downs you'll experience, you will never regret your choice when you look back at your badass Self, who chose to widen his or her horizon and develop what edgy people nowadays call "self growth". In my next blog post, I will talk more about homesickness, the struggles of sharing a room and don't worry- I'll also go in greater detail of all the positive side effects you might not expect from your exchange year.
So stay tuned if you enjoyed this blog post and I'll talk to you soon! x
