Disclaimer: I'm not entirely sure where I was going with this, and there is definitely a chance that this is the most self-centered, narcissistic post I've ever written, so let's make this a drinking game: drink every time I use the word 'I', 'myself' or 'my'. Enjoy.
4 months.
It has been 4 months since I left what felt safe and well known to me, to enter a world of new experiences and challenges. Opening a new book with yet unwritten stories seemed like quite a risk at that time, but that might also have been the thrill in it. The unknown, as frightening as it is, contains so many new ways and possibilities to achieve success, whether it is about friendships, work, personal growth or even love. I guess that being surrounded by all those opportunities, waiting for me to grab them, was one of the main factors that made my excitement grow more and more the closer I got to departure day.
I tried not to have too high expectations, preventing myself from getting disappointed and losing motivation to work on everything that would actually be under my control. Saying that the previous four months have been a magical walk through Wonderland would be an exaggeration, and I want to be honest with you. However, looking back now, I realize how all my experiences shaped the way I look at who I am, in addition to how much closer I feel to myself; which is a strange thing to say, because shouldn't the person knowing you the best be yourself anyway?
My theory is that it has a lot to do with my changed point of view. You never really realize what's going on while you're experiencing it, and looking back at it from another perspective makes it easier to analyse everything that has happened. It might sound a little bit cliché (just like every blog post I write at this time of the year since I'm getting a little emotional don't judge me okay thanks), but I wouldn't say I'm the same person I was a few months ago. Leaving an old life and old me behind, looking back and being able to see my mistakes, made it able for me to start from scratch, think about who I want to be and why I haven't been this person. It made me visualize everything, and what I learned the most is that yup, it can be f-ing hard and you got to work for it.
For most of us it is so easy to just go through life, following a plan that has been handed out to everyone on their day of birth, because it feels safe and most importantly: it feels right. What I didn't really understand before I started this journey is that it isn't this simple. In order to become the person you want to be, achieve your aspirations and goals, you have to expand this standard plan, customize it according to your needs. Start doing extra work, improve your skills, embrace your creativity, take online courses, go out with people who you believe are too different from you, write more frequently, say yes to commissions even though you have to finish two assignments in the same week and go to work on the weekend, because this is what will get you closer to the goal, not being at school for a few hours and then going home, so you can do it all over again.
This blog post is not meant to tell you all about the great adventures an exchange student experiences, because I'm pretty sure there is a hell of a lot of it out there already. Neither am I trying to say how it will automatically transform you into an expert in self-growth or teach you everything you need to know and understand about tolerance and world citizens. What I'm rather trying to explain is that this small part of my exchange year has taught me something I'd never guessed it would: the person you and your future depend on the most is yourself and the work you're willing to put into it. So here's to all the fun, educational pain, wisdom and stories from the past months. I've been incredibly lucky and most of all grateful, so may 2017 be another year of life lectures and most importantly new memories to look back on in hopefully many years ahead.
